Spark of Nirvana
by StayGoldxx
Summary: SEQUEL TO INNOCENCE TAKES POWER. My heart pounding in my chest as I denied what I had just heard. It couldn't be true, they were lying. It can't happen. I can't face it again. The nightmares had just started becoming worse. My head spun and everything went black, but only one thought went through my head. I was going back in the arena.
1. A New Beginning

**Here's the new story! Ahhhh! Hope you guys like it! GIVE ME FEEDBACK!**

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Pain.

That's what I wanted to feel.

Numb.

That's all I could feel.

My entire body tingled as I sat on my window sill in my house in the Victor Village. Looking out the window, I could see the ocean from my backyard. The sunset was always my favorite part of the day to watch, as the oranges and purples would mix together, to create the perfect universe between the two. My body yearned to feel the waves against my body, the sand ooze in between my toes, the birds chirping.

But I was paralyzed. I had been since that night at the Capitol Building, months ago. I wouldn't eat, sleep, or do anything apart from look out this window. When I would eventually sleep, the games and that night, would haunt my thoughts and become nightmares, reliving each moment like it was now. My screams along with the other tributes, would fill my ears throughout the night. I would scream so loud, Finnick could hear me from his house approximately 25 yards away. Whenever I would start screaming, he would always come running in, to shake me out of my nightmares. But it wasn't him I hoped to see barge into my room every night, it was Cato.

Cato's P.O.V

Colton.

Colton Hayes.

Colton.

Her name echoed through my thoughts all day, all night. Her face would appear every time I blinked. Her voice would seep into my dreams at night. I haven't seen her since she died. I missed her so much, I would give anything just to hold her, one last time. To hear her say my name. To feel her soft skin against mine. But I knew that would never happen, she's dead. She stopped breathing right in front of me, in my arms.

"No! Colton! You can't die on me!" I said as tears erupted from my eyes. I couldn't hold them back as I watched the girl I love bleed to death in my arms. "Please," I begged. "I love you," I said as I felt her body let out her last breath. Looking up at her face, I saw her eyes had closed, her lips had shut and started becoming blue. She was gone.

I let out a horrifyingly, broken hearted scream. Over and over and over. I was drowning in my own tears as I rocked Colton's body back and forth in my arms as if rocking her to sleep, but to death.

Finnick and some girl, burst into the room mid-scream. Finnick ran over to Colton's body and kneeled down next to the bed and rubbed her head as I've seen him do many times to calm her down. I looked up to see the girl Finnick had run in with, crunched up in a ball rocking herself back in forth. She looked so familiar, but I couldn't put my finger on it. Turning back to Colton and Finnick, I wept.

"She's gone," I said, my voice cracking when I admitted the truth. Finnick's face fell and he looked as if he had shattered into a million pieces. He and I both lost the most important thing in our lives, the one thing bringing us light and hope in this dark world.

Of course, my life went on. My parents weren't very supportive. All they cared about was the money I won and moving to a much richer area. They even went as far as trying to find me another girlfriend, but I turned them all down no matter how beautiful they were; none of them even compared to Colton's beauty. If she was alive, I would take her back. I would beg her to take me back. I regret everything I said to her before the feast, I didn't know that I would actually lose her, forever. I just wanted her back.

Colton's P.O.V

Hearing my door creak, I didn't make a sudden movement knowing the only person that has even stepped foot in this house was Finnick. I knew why he was here, and not to just cheer me up. Today was the day the Victory Tour starts. Since all four of us are from different districts, we all gather at District 11 and start from there, skipping our own districts, and then going back to them starting with District 12, then mine, then Cato's, and then the Capitol to welcome ourselves back.

"Today's the day," Finnick said, sorrow in each word. He knew I was too weak, too numb, too ashamed, to face those cameras again.

No one in all of Panem, knew about what happened to me that night, except for Finnick and President Snow. Snow didn't want anyone finding out that someone in the Capitol was so 'vial', but I knew that wasn't the reason. President Snow didn't believe my act with Cato, and wanted to punish me. After all the months of sitting here, the idea finally pieced itself together.

President Snow wanted me to suffer a pain worse than death. I cheated him when I won the games, I got the ball rolling which is why such a pain wasn't inflicted on Katniss. Snow hired that man to do that, but he didn't mean for the man to die which is why he kept it so quiet. He wanted me to feel so awful about myself, that I would do his dirty work for him. I would kill myself, is what he hoped for. He hoped the nightmares I would get from both the games and that night, would be enough to set me over the edge. Yes they did, but I had to get past it, somehow and show President Snow, he's dealing with more than what he thinks.

My lips were too dry to answer Finnick back since they haven't been in use since I woke up from my comma. No one knows I'm alive, except Finnick and Annie. She visits from time to time with Finnick. He hoped she could help me get past this since she could empathize with me, she was held with so much emotion.

During this Victory Tour, me alive, would be revealed to everyone. I will redeem myself. I have a small spark in me still. I may feel numb, and yearn to feel pain, but I am stronger than ever. I have been broken, beaten, and raped, nothing could hurt me anymore. I will shove my life right back into President Snow's face. There will be a rebellion, I was sure of it.

Turning my head and finally making eye contact with Finnick, I saw he had placed himself onto the chair he put next to the window sill when he first visited me. He put his hand on my shoulder very lightly, but I flinched. My entire body shook as Bleuforsh's touch replaced Finnick and a small whimper escaped my lips. Everyday Finnick would try this on me, hoping maybe I would eventually realize it's his touch, but it never worked.

"Are you ready?" He asked.

Before I could answer, my stylists and Lidian entered the room trying to see who would see me first. Once they I was in their sights, they stopped dead in their tracks, all of their eyes wide. My breath hitched in my throat at the loud noise, but it was soon silenced. Lidian was the first to speak, like always.

"I didn't believe it when I heard it, but it's true. You're alive," She said as her eyes teared up. I never thought I would see the day, that Lidian would show any emotion apart from giddiness. Not that I would ever say it out loud, but I did miss Lidian. She walked up to hug me, but Finnick stopped her. She didn't question it and just let it slide.

"Let's get to work!" Vitic said. I didn't want to cause such a mess, so I did as I was told.

My muscles ached from finally being put to work after so long. As each stylists touched my body, I shivered. Each pluck, scrub and scratch along my body, made the feeling of Bleuforsh touching me replayed in my mind. A couple screams were let out, so my stylists quickly finished in only twenty minutes.

"Sorry," I mumbled to them after they finished, but they just let it go. Hmm, maybe they somehow found out what happened which is why they weren't causing such a fuss like they usually did.

After I was finished getting all cleaned up, Finnick and I were escorted onto the train that would bring me to District 11. The entire ride, I sat in the last car all the way in the back of the train, that was practically a giant window. I watched the entire ride, in complete silence. Finnick would sometimes check up on me, but knew I just wanted to be left alone.

Knowing I would soon be reunited with Cato, was on both of our minds. I could tell just by looking at him, that he was nervous at what Cato's reaction would be. Finnick thought that Cato might get violent with me because we kept him in the dark, that's at least what Finnick told me the first time he walked into the car I was in to talk to me about it. But I didn't know what to expect when Cato would see me. Would he cry, or would he yell? What he smile, or would he turn red in anger? I didn't know.

As night passed, those thoughts were in my head. Peering up at the night sky, I wasted time by counting stars. The stars reminded me of the twinkle I saw in Rue's eye the first time I ever saw her. She was so young, so full of life and now she was gone because I couldn't stop Marvel in time. Even though it would be hard, I would say something to her family. I would tell them I would if I could, switch spots with Rue, just so she could live, that she deserved life more than I did.

I didn't even notice the sky had become bright again, until Lidian shuffled me out of my room to meet Gito in my dressing room, to put me in my outfit for the first day. The outfit laying on the hangers in front of me, was very casual, yet elegant.

My top was a créme knit sweater, that was plain. It was supplied with high waisted brown pants with three buttons going vertically up my waist. My shoes, were black with a brown heel. The laces were silver. Going with the outfit, was my mom's bronze necklace matching perfectly. I was starting to think Gito made all my outfits accordingly to my mom's necklace.

After I threw my outfit on, my stylists did my makeup and hair. Once they were finished, I took a peek in the mirror to see they had curled my hair, but pinned a small piece back showing my face, with barely any makeup on. I was very natural looking.

Finnick walked in soon after, and looked me over. "You look good as new," He said with a smile on his face emphasizing 'new', hoping I would get the pun. Him knowing me very well, knew I had a plan.

As the train came to a stop, I got off the and walked into the District 11 Justice Building. I was led into a room with Finnick that I knew, he knew very well and remembered being in the same position I'm in now. Observing the room, I saw it was very dusty, and only had two windows, on both sides of the dirty room. It was painted a dreary grey, making it very depressing. Taking a couple steps forward, I laid eyes on the other three people with the same title I had; Victor.

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**So how was that? You like the beginning? **


	2. Three Powerful Speeches

**Okayyy here's chapter two guys! Oh and disclaimer to the author Suzanne Collins, and whoever wrote Katniss and Peeta's speeches in the movie. Anyways read and review!**

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Cato's P.O.V

I had been waiting with the other two from District 12 for the Victor Tour to start in District 11. None of this felt right without Colton. Without her, these two wouldn't be here and everything would be so different. Even though she was dead, I still dreamt about her every night and now that the Tour has started, I feel like I'm seeing her or at least feeling her presence. I just feel like she should be here.

"Here are your cards!" Pertrue, my district representative said as she handed me the note cards I would be reading during my stay here at the Justice Building.

Looking them over, it was just a bunch of bullshit! We weren't meant to survive because we had a 'destiny', we were meant to survive because we were to start a rebellion! I didn't want to admit it before, but I want one. Colton's death wasn't just a coincidence, it was murder. Something like that doesn't happen randomly after four victors are crowned! No! I wanted a rebellion in honor of Colton, of what she started.

"These are complete crap! I will not read these!" I started saying until six people were escorted into the Justice Building by two Peacekeepers. Looking over at the newcomers, my eyes connected immediately with the person I least expected, Colton.

Is this real? Am I dreaming? Is this all just a sick dream orchestrated by the Capitol? Am I just imagining her here? Questions along the lines of these surrounded my thoughts. It was like every other thought I have ever had, slipped right out of my mind.

Is this really Colton?

Colton's P.O.V

My eyes were drawn to his. I've pictured this moment in my head so many times with different outcomes each time. If he was mad, he would run up to me and start screaming at me. If he was shocked, he would keep his mouth shut and just stare at me. If he was happy, a large smile would spread across his face and our lips would collide, creating happiness. But known of those happened.

"C-Colton?" He whispered.

My breath hitched in my throat. No matter how many times I've dreamt this moment, I always woke up before my words would come out. I was completely lost for words. I opened my mouth like I was to say something, but nothing came, just silence.

My eyes darted over to Katniss and Peeta, and their mouths were open with shock. Something I would have expected from them. Katniss looked so different, like much more proper. Her district representative must've worked hard to get her like that. Peeta, he just looked the same, very gentleman like, but Cato looked the most different. He had stubble growing on his face and his eyes had dark circles under them. His hair had lost it's golden touch, like it faded with sadness. His body posture was no longer strong and tall like he usually was. Now it was more hunched over.

Everyone in the room hadn't reacted to my surprise not death, until Katniss ran up to me and hugged me, knocking the air out of my lungs. Before I knew it, a rerun of Bleuforsh pushing my body against the brick wall, happened in my mind, and I started fidgeting and screaming. Arms grabbed me from behind and yanked me back resulting in me kicking and screaming 'let me go', over and over.

"Colton!" I heard my name being screamed by Bleuforsh over and over until the cloudiness of my vision had reduced and instead of seeing the dead man in front of me, I saw Katniss had backed up and Peeta had put his arms protectively around Katniss. In front of them stood a scared and speechless Cato.

Soon, the arms holding me back let go and Finnick appeared in front of my face, holding my cheeks in his hands telling me that everything was okay and no one was going to hurt me. But my heavy breathing was overpowering his voice. After a couple more seconds, I had calmed down just in time for a Peacekeeper to announce we would be on stage in one minute.

"Can you do this?" Finnick asked looking me dead in the eye.

I nodded my head knowing, I had to push past this and say what I want to say to Rue's family. If I could do anything else in my life, it would be to let her family know how sorry I am. I may not have been nearly as close to her as Katniss was, but she had also saved mine and Breckin's life.

Next thing I knew, I was walking onto the stage in front of the Justice Building to see all the citizens of District 11 standing in front of me. All their hungry and sad looking faces appeared. I wish I could help them, none of them deserved any of this abuse from the Capitol. Looking up, I saw Thresh and Rue's faces on two screens on opposite sides of the crowd and beneath each picture stood both tributes families.

Under Thresh's picture, stood two women. One younger looking, and one so old she looked like raisin, but both had bones sticking out showing their loss of food. It must've been his mother and his grandma. They both lost their hard working boy, by the looks of him.

Under Rue's picture, stood a family of six; one mother, and five smaller children. They all look like they were younger than Rue, the youngest looking about four or five. Peering into all of their faces, all of them had a small aspect of Rue in them, it was heart shattering. Her mother looked like she had been crying for weeks, but I don't blame her. Rue was an amazingly smart girl.

All that filled the air, was the District's gasps and claps as they saw me, their spark, their hope, was still alive. I jumped a bit when I felt someone's hand rest on my back, but the hand was warm and felt so right. Looking to see who the hand belonged to, I saw it was Cato. I don't know why I didn't scream at his touch like I had Katniss, but I didn't. It felt almost comforting.

Peeta, being the most camera ready, was the first to start.

"Thank you," He said, speaking right into the microphone. Before continuing, he peered down at his note cards. "We are honoured to be here with you today and to be with the families of our fallen tributes," He started, but suddenly stopped. I looked over at him and saw that he was looking into the faces of everyone in the audience, whose eyes bore into his body. Knowing Peeta would do the right thing, I watched as he put his notecards down, and continuing, in his own words.

"They both fought, with honor and dignity til the end. Both Thresh and Rue, were so young," I stopped listening, and focused on the dirty faces before me. Even though their skin color is darker, they shouldn't be abused they way they are. They seem more worse off, even though I've never been to any other district.

"We'd like to donate one month of our winnings, to the families of the tributes every year, for the rest of our lives," Was the next thing I heard slip out of Peeta's mouth. I gasped, while everyone in the crowd clapped. Now that's how you make a difference.

Next up, was Katniss. Before she started, I saw her stare at Rue's picture. I knew Rue meant the world to Katniss even though she had only known her for a very short time.

"I just wanted to say that, I didn't know Thresh, I only spoke to him once. He could've killed me, but instead he showed me mercy. That's a debt, I'll never be able to repay. I did know Rue. She wasn't just my ally, she was my friend. I see her, in the flowers that grow by the meadow by my house. I hear her in the Mockingjay song. I see her in my sister Prim. She was too young, too gentle. And I couldn't save her. I'm sorry," Katniss said finishing. The tears in her eyes showed her emotion and soul. I could never speak like that.

Next was me. I walked up to the microphone with Cato trailing behind me. He let go of my back and now placed his hand in mine, very smoothly. We still had to show everyone we were in love.

Turning towards the crowd, I took a moment to think. Of course, I turned away the notecards I was handed seconds before stepping on the stage. I wouldn't read the rubbish the Capitol wrote for me, it wasn't right. Opening my lips, for the first time, hearing words come out, I started my speech.

"I know, none of you expected me here today, but I am. Both Rue and Thresh, were too young, too new to the world, to be thrown in that arena. Too caring. I didn't know either very well, but I know they were both, the most honest tributes. I'm sorry," I said turning to Rue's family and looking her mother straight in the eye. "I'm sorry I couldn't stop Marvel in time," I could feel a familiar wetness on my face. I had to stop for a second to catch my breath. "If I could," I said coming back determined. "I would switch spots with her. If I could, I would've taken that spear for her," I said continuing firmly feeling Cato's hand squeeze mine. "If I could, I would've stopped these games all together," I said finishing strong. "While your loved ones are gone, the Capitol is sitting around, planning another death ring!" I shouted, wriling up the crowd. "It has to end, and I can promise you, it will!" I shouted even louder and stronger.

I will not sit down and take this anymore. These two tributes, are what is giving me the willpower more than anyone, to stop these games. Rue was only 12! She hasn't experienced anything in life. And Thresh, he's barely lived.

After the crowd silenced, I heard a four note tune, I had never heard before, but looking at Katniss, I saw she stopped dead in her tracks. Our eyes fell on an old man who had now saluted us, with the three finger, arm in the air salute. Soon, the entire districts' hands were in their air. I can honestly say, my heart was broken.

Suddenly, I heard metal clanking together, and every Peacekeeper around had their swords out and was backing the crowd up. Katniss had ran into the crowd, most likely trying to get to that old man, but two Peacekeepers grabbed her just as she was down the steps. I could hear her repeating the same word over and over. No.

Two Peacekeepers had made their way through the crowd and grabbed the old man. I knew what was next. Before Cato could grab me, I ran, but was immediately held back by two Peacekeepers.

"Don't touch him!" I screamed the words echoing through my ears.

Both mine and Katniss's cries and pleads were heard throughout the space. My dainty body continued to be pulled back and I had to pull through and keep fighting. But soon, one of their hands wandered accidentally to my lower hip, and I completely lost it. I began fighting them. Kicking and screaming to let me go.

"Let go of me! Stop it! Don't hurt him! Please!" I screamed for both mine and the man's sake. After all my fighting, the Peacekeepers let me go in shock of my outburst, and I bolted for the old man, only to have someone else grab me back as I was so close to grabbing him.

Now all three of us were being dragged around on stage, Katniss, myself and the old man. Katniss and I had been pulled back into the building. As the doors were being closed, I watched as he was bent on his knees and a gun put to his head. The entire crowd was screaming with us. Before the doors were completely shut, the old man looked at Katniss and me; I could see the fight in his eyes.

Then, the bullet rang free.

Now, I was mad. More than mad. I was furious. I felt like smoke was coming out of my ears. I could feel the word the old man wanted to say. Fight.

****I will fight for them. I will fight until my dying breath. **This isn't over.**

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**sooo what did y'all think?**


	3. Nightmares

**Sooo I know it took forever to crank out this next chapter but i've been swamped with stuff. And sorry it's kinda short :/**

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As the Victory Tour continued, I would be the one to fire up the crowds, to let them know, that because Katniss and I have started a revolution, we will be the ones to finish and will fight side by side. The hardest Districts to speak in, were 1 and 3, Marvel and Tanner's. I told Marvel's family exactly what he asked me to tell them. Seeing his two little sister's was so heart shattering. The oldest Catalina, will barely remember him and Scarlett, she won't even know he existed. I wish I could do something, but there was nothing I could do. For Tanner, I told his family that they had been blessed with an amazing child, he was a light that would burn forever in our hearts. He was the neverending candle.

Now, just because I showed a strong and composed self on stage, doesn't mean anything because backstage and in real life, that was completely different story.

On the train when we would be riding throughout the Districts to the next one, everyone night, I would have a screaming fit nightmare. It was the same every night, Finnick would run in my room, hold me until I fell asleep, and sometimes he would slip out later in the night or would stay with me til morning. The days he would stay with me all night, everyone knew because when our district representatives would wake us up, Finnick and I would come out of my room at the same time as everyone else. Throughout the rest of the day Cato would be giving Finnick the stink eye. I don't know why since he was the one to break it off with me.

It still hurt to accept the fact that Cato no longer wanted to be with me, but I knew I would have to live with it. Every time we were in front of a camera and we would somehow be close together without me screaming, my heart always skipped a beat. If I had to live off those moments just to be with him, I would do so. I would have to if I couldn't have him.

Anyways the night was the same as it always was with the nightmares starting and my screaming and cries for help ringing through the train. But tonight's nightmare was different. It wasn't the horrid night at the Capitol Building, but when District 9 attacked me in the games. It was as if I could feel his cold fingers wrapping around my neck and squeezing, just like he had in the games. Instead of me choking for air, I screamed for help over and over and over.

Cato's name continued to roll right off my lips as if I was in the games and no one but him could save me. The sound of the birds chirping in the games echoed through my head, until a girls scream broke through. The scream from the girl the first night. It haunted my dreams. Then the cannon sounded and before I could awake myself, Breckin's face appeared. A face of pain. Of when he was stabbed. Peering into his sparkling brown eyes for the last time. The familiar boom of the cannon filled my next thoughts, but not loud enough to drown out Bleuforsh's dark cackle.

Another howl of pain hung in the air, but this time it was mine.

I felt my body being violently shaken and a loud gasp broke me out of my dream. My heavy breathing filled my head, no other sound could break through. Looking around the dark room, I felt a face close to mine.

The dead man, Bleuforsh.

A roar of help erupted from my throat, until a hand was put over my mouth and I felt my body being cradled, but not by the bad man, nor my best friend, but the man I loved. Clinging onto his shirt, I could smell his recognizable smell that I always loved. I tugged on his shirt pulling him closer to me and I began to cry. Not a painful cry, or a cry of sadness, but the cry of a broken hearted girl. I've had many breakdowns since Cato ended things, but none revolving around my unmended heart. Now that Cato was in my grasp, I wouldn't let him go.

"Cato," I very quietly cried out his name in the dark room. That was the first time I had spoken his name in months, when I was awake at least.

"I'm here. No one's gonna hurt you. It's okay," He said going into a rant in his own world. I felt his heart quicken up, but I couldn't pinpoint what from.

"Nightmares, the nightmares," I said rambling more to myself than him.

"I know, I know. I get them too sometimes," He whispered while adjusting us on my bed so we were laying down with his head on the pillow and his arms wrapped around my body, while my head was rested on his chiseled chest that I longed to touch. I could feel the pull of fabric being tugged onto my body creating warmth that was nearly suffocating, but I loved it.

"Don't go," I whispered so quietly I didn't know if I even said it.

"I won't. I'm right here. I'm not going anywhere," He said while pulling me tighter into his body and in response, I just melted right into him. This was the most human contact I've had in months.

Soon, I drifted off into a dreamless sleep for the first time since I left the god forsaken arena. It felt amazing. It felt zen. It felt unreal.

The next day, was the day we were sent to the Capitol. We didn't get a big presentation like we did at all the other districts, we were just sent to the Capitol Building for another feast. Finnick knew how hard this would be for me and he told me he wouldn't leave my side and that's why I loved him.

"Wakey wakey sunshine," Lidian said quieter than she used to when she would wake me up before the games. She knew something was very wrong, and considerably, adjusted the way she expressed herself for my fragile sake.

Instead of pounding on the door, she usually walks in, opens the blinds and then sits on my bed and tells me to wake up. Even though my eyes were closed, the room felt very bright. My head didn't feel like it was on the soft pillow it usually was on, but on something hard. Opening my eyes a crack I saw Cato's face, his innocent face as he slept. I could feel myself turning into putty.

"Time to-," Lidian said and then stopped as I looked at her. "Oh umm I didn't know you had company," She said in a off tone as Cato started waking up. "I'll umm, just leave you two, to it," She finished while walking out and closing my door.

I still hadn't moved since she left and started wondering what Cato was thinking. Looking up at him, I saw his eyes were open and he was looking down at me with a big smile across his face. Admiring his beauty, he looked as if his hair had regained the golden tint, and his skin didn't look as pale is it did the first day of the Tour.

"Now I could get used to waking up to this," He said making me giggle a bit resulting in a large smile on his face. I was putty in his hands even though I didn't want to.

He kissed the top of my head then sat up and hung his feet over the side of my bed. Now I noticed he hadn't been wearing a shirt and was in only boxers. I marveled at his muscular back. His skin looked so smooth, I just wanted to feel it against mine again. I wanted to feel him pressed against me in a compromising position. I didn't care if he didn't want me ever again, but I wanted him to take me, all of me.

"Cato?" I asked in a shaky breath as if he wasn't really there. Second time saying his name. When he turned around he had concerned look on his face.

"What's wrong?" He asked scooting closer to me.

"W-why did you come in here last night," I said sinking my head low feeling stupid of asking something like that. "Instead of Finnick?" I finished.

"I wanted to see you," He said and then walked out of my room leaving me completely shocked. Did I really just hear him say that?

Sitting there wrapped in my blankets that now smelled like him, I stared at the doorway he was just in only seconds ago. No thoughts in my head, just a blank stare; not knowing how to react to that. Suddenly a question popped in my head.

Did he want me back?

Not even bother acknowledging the question, I stood up and put my hair in a ponytail and entered the dining cart. Everyone was already there and was waiting for me. Finnick had saved me a seat next to him and on the other side was Peeta. The people gathered in the room had all been talking amongst themselves, not really taking notice to my late entrance thankfully.

Walking over to the vacant chair, I sat down and sensed a pair of eyes on me. Glancing up, I saw it was Peeta. He had a smile on his face making me blush. Man, I never realized how actually beautiful he was with his strawberry golden locks all perfectly laid on his head and his ocean blue eyes. Not that he was anything near Cato, but I would say he was next best. Even though we were all in our night clothes with the exceptions of Lidian, and the other two representatives whose names were I think Effie, District 12, and Pertrue, District 2, I had to say what thought was on my mind.

"You look nice," I said directed at Peeta.

"Thanks. I never got to tell you, I like the brown. It's different," He spoke in his humble voice, putting a smile on my face. That's when I realized, I hadn't had a real conversation with him since I had found him sick at the river.

"Wow, we haven't talked in a while," I state making Peeta laugh a bit.

"That's what happens when you're swamped with 'victor duties'," He said cracking a joke and putting air quotes around the words 'victor duties'.

I couldn't help, but smile. I never realized how kind Peeta was. Yeah he was giving his winnings away, but he really could put someone in a better mood. It was a good quality and I'm almost certain Katniss will fall for Peeta in due time.

"Hey! Look at that!" He said with a big smile on his face. I was about to question him when he finished. "I got you to smile!" He finished.

Yeah, he did. A real smile and I had to say it felt really good.


	4. A Not So Celebration

**Sorry for the super long wait! I've been so busy lately and was getting poor internet service for a while!**

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Before the feast that day, there was a special announcement for the Capitol. The two "lethal lovers", as Caesar put it, were getting married. When I first heard the words, a choked a bit on my breath, shocked that Katniss and Peeta were doing this. How come I hadn't thought of that! Maybe Cato and I could do the same thing, but President Snow might just see it as us trying to be the 'star crossed lover' and then set Cato and myself up for an image we did not want to come across as.

"Ready to look in the mirror?" Gito asked me.

We had tried a number of dresses on for me to wear tonight, but I didn't like it any of them. It wasn't his designs, they were great, it just didn't look good on me. It was probably just my nerves talking. I didn't want to go back to that wretched place. Just thinking about it made me sick to my stomach. I spent the entire morning throwing up my breakfast.

"Yes," I finally said after a moment. This was now the seventh dress I've tried on. Hopefully this was the one.

Turning to look at my new outfit, I gasped. This was the one.

I was wearing a long white dress that was held up by a gold belt at the waist. A couple gold bangles laid elegantly on my wrists. Of course my moms necklace hung from my neck. My shoes were tall, strappy and gold, giving me a couple extra inches. I might be able to reach Cato's chin now. My hair was let down in waves and to top it off, there was a gold headband resembling a god's. I had gold eyeshadow on, tinted with a bit of earthy green. My lips were a bold red, standing out the most.

"I love it," Was all I could choke out.

I heard another gasp coming from the doorway of the room. Turning around, I saw Lidian, and Cato walking into my room.

Lidian had a horrific outfit on, I can't look at it for too long. It was another one of her plastic dresses but was an ocean-like blue and curved out like a ballroom gown. All her accessories resembled a peacock.

Cato looked handsome like always. He was wearing a white suit with a gold tie to match my dress. His hair was brushed a bit differently, a little more to the left side. Just different enough for me to notice. He had a smile painted on his face, making my heart leap.

Clapping erupted from Lidian while entering the room and looking my outfit over.

"Ah! Just marvelous! Now are you two ready to present yourselves?" She was leaping in happiness. Nodding my head in return, I saw Cato still looking me over. A small blush erupted on my cheeks like a volcano. Looking up, Gito was looking at my knowingly; he saw Cato was still looking.

Lidian shuffled Cato and myself into the main room and sat us down on a couch and began telling us on how we would have to act tonight, but I had spaced out the entire time. Flashbacks of Bleuforsh's hands crawling up my sides. The feeling of my entire being exposed to this strange man. The feeling of him inside of me. The feeling of my entire self and every thought in my head, being told to this defiler.

I didn't realize I was crying until I felt a finger on my cheek breaking me out of my neverending nightmare. Coming back to Earth and out of my own little world, I saw Cato's piercing blue eyes looking straight through me. Grabbing his hand that was wiping my tear, I pulled it down to my lap. I noticed Lidian had left and it was just us two in the room.

"Are you okay?" He asked quietly.

"I'm fine," I said looking at the other side of the room. With his other hand, he maneuvered my face so I was forced to look at him.

"You know you can talk to me right?" He asked, once again.

"I'm fine, okay Cato!" I started raising my voice as my nerves began shaking. I was too scared to go back, but I couldn't admit that to anyone.

Thankfully he just ignored it. "Lidian said once you're ready, we should meet her outside," Doing as he said, I stood up and not realizing I was still holding his hand, I was pulled back down. "Are you sure?" He said squeezing my hand.

Sick and tired of this already, I pulled my hand away from his and walked towards the door, but heard no footsteps behind me. "You coming?" I said turning my head a bit to see out of the corner of my eye. Cato was just standing up, so I opened the door and walked down the hall and out the doors knowing Cato was following me now.

Though it was dark, it was easy to spot Lidian, Effie, Peeta and Katniss standing near a path. I knew Finnick and Annie were already there. Finnick wanted to stay behind with me helping me past the spot, but I insisted him and Annie showed up together, without me. My guess was, this path was connected to the path leading to where that...thing happened. Walking over as normal as I could look without shaking, I walked over to the group. Upon my arrival, Cato was there just a second after I was.

Katniss was wearing this long elegant black dress with red fire looking things on her shoulders. There was a small dip in the neck just enough to show a bit of cleavage. Her hair was down, but up in a formal matter. And her makeup was gorgeous like always. I could never compare to her beauty.

Next to her, was Peeta in black suit with a turtleneck underneath. He showed almost to none skin, except for his hands and face of course. His hair was greased back and not in his messy morning hairdo, how I liked it best.

And Effie well, she went all out just like Lidian. She was in a purple feathered dress that was above her knees, but shaped into a ball gown almost exactly like Lidian. The backing of the dress went up and out, all in purple feathers. Her hair was blue and in two buns on her head. Like the dress, her makeup was purple, but her skin was bleached an ugly ghost white.

"The Presidential Palace, the party of the year. Breath it all in. Now, eyes bright, chins up, smiles on. And I'm talking to you Katniss," Effie started as we began walking.

Once we were past the two fountains shooting purple water out, we got to a path that I remember so clearly. My heart began racing as my breath quickened up. Out of nowhere, I felt a hand behind my back, making me jump and turn around to see Cato's face. Knowing I had to put on a show, I settled down as much as I could and put a smile on hoping my frown lines wouldn't start to show.

Effie started going off in a rant as her, Katniss and Peeta walking ahead of Lidian, Cato and me. "Now remember, always smile and be happy because there will be cameras, interviews and everyone who is anyone in the Capitol, will be here to celebrate you!" I'm sure Effie was giving the same rant to Katniss and Peeta, but much more, chirpy.

The others stopped walking allowing us three to catch up. "It's cozy," Peeta said sarcastically causing me to laugh. Looking over at me he smiled. He held up two fingers, marking the second time I've smiled now.

"Attitude," Effie said with an attitude. What a hypocrite. Turning around, she breathed heavily, 'breathing it all in'. "Come, come!" She said with a skip in her voice.

Following the other three, us three walked through the crowd of Capitol people who clapped loudly, along with cheering and touching us congratulating us. I couldn't stand the touching, and took refuge and in the only person I trusted here. Feeling Cato's presence right behind me, I put my hand behind me grabbing his and pulling him close to me, my back touching his chest.

"Get off," I started saying quietly, but repeated over and over. Soon Cato heard and pushed people off of me. Their touches, so soft and gentle like Bleuforsh's, until they got harsher and harsher just like his.

Finally arriving in the building, I still had a tight grip on Cato's hand, too afraid to let go. The building had been transformed completely different than how the other feast here was. Now, there were at least 10 times more tables covered in more food than imaginable. Also, there were spotlights everywhere, a dance floor with a giant disco ball above it and plenty more people. There was also this obnoxious music playing.

"I'll go find us a table," Cato said in my ear, making the hairs on my back stand up, but I didn't want him to go. I haven't been around this many people since, that thing, and I didn't like it. I needed him.

Grabbing his neck while still holding his hand, he looked me dead in the eye. The intenseness was making my heart race. His blue eyes melting me the longer I looked. My lips only inches from his, but I still wanted them closer. "Don't go," I whispered, closing my eyes not wanting to see his reaction to my words.

"Okay," Was all I heard before feeling the soft touch of lips on my forehead. "Let's go get some food," Cato said while putting his hand gently on my back and leading us to one of the tables with different crackers and dips.

Taking a plate, I started with the most normal looking crackers and dip. While scooping for the dip, I felt Cato's hand on my back slip off. I almost turned to grab him, when I heard a conversation.

"How's she doing?" I knew that voice to be Finnick's.

"She's doing better than before, but the crowds seem to be too much," And that must've been Cato replying.

"Keep an eye on her. I don't want anything happening to her this time," There's Finnick being protective again. If only Cato knew what really happened.


	5. It's Time

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"I'm stuffed," He leaned back into the chair and threw his arm behind me pulling me close. "I can't eat another thing," Cato said using his other hand to throw his napkin onto the plate.

"Me too," I said quietly.

Cato stood up and my eyes scanned his luxurious body I so badly wished to explore. He put his hand out for me resulting in a questionable look on my part. "Dance with me," He said putting a small smile on his face.

Doing as I was told, I grabbed his hand as he waltzed us over to the dance floor filled with other people. I didn't want to go, but I wanted to be close to him, to touch him just as long as I possibly could. Cato held me against his body, placing his hand very gently on my waist, but I still jumped and made myself quickly calm.

"It's okay, I won't hurt you," He spoke looking me dead in the eye. Believing him, I allowed him to place his hand on my lower back while I wrapped my hands around his neck. Just the touch of his skin against mine sent tingles everywhere.

Swaying back and forth, I closed my eyes and allowed Cato's body to let me in, to hold me, to feel me. Our bodies became one as we danced together. Suddenly, my hearing was engulfed in Cato humming the song we had been dancing too. A smile cracked on my face. I knew I was so deeply infatuated with him and I would never feel the same about anyone else. I just wanted him.

Opening my eyes and looking up, I spotted what I thought was Bleuforsh making me stop. My happy moment was over. Staring intently at him, I couldn't peel my eyes away. He was dead, I killed him myself, but this was too real. Grabbing Cato harder, I blinked and when I opened my eyes again he was gone.

I didn't realize my body being pulled away from Cato's, until I could see his entire face. "What's wrong?" You could hear the shakiness and panic in his voice.

"N-nothing," I said. Scanning the party room, President Snow appeared on the top balcony. A smirk was playing on his lips. Terror filled my mind.

My eyes swept the rest of the room, hoping they weren't playing a dirty trick on me, but they landed on Bleuforsh again behind Finnick and Annie. He had a sinister grin on his face. That's when I saw the knife. I ran across the room, pushing everyone aside until I reached Finnick who was holding Annie.

"No!" I screamed tackling Bleuforsh.

The man below me fidgeted and began yelling. "Get this thing off me! Get it off!" He yelled as my body was pulled off of him by whom my guess, was Finnick. He was holding my wrists, when I noticed the man wasn't who I thought it was. It was some old man with grey hair, in a blue tuxedo.

"I-I'm so sorry-," I began, but was cut off.

"You repulsive thing! Don't ever touch me!" He yelled while everyone around us watched. I was so lost for words.

I felt my body being shifted as I looked back at the balcony where I last saw President Snow. Once again, he was smirking at me like he accomplished something. Crazy. He was trying to play me off as crazy.

"Take her back to the room and put her to bed," I overheard Finnick saying to, who my guess was Cato, whose arms I was now in.

Doing as he was told, Cato escorted me out of the room while I rambled to him, but mostly to myself. My eyes had a mind of their own, making me see things that weren't really there. He couldn't be real. I killed him myself. I watched his last breath leave his body. He's gone.

"Get in the bath," Was the next thing I heard.

Lost in my own thoughts, I hadn't even realized that I was now sitting in the bathroom of the room I was staying in with Cato standing above me. I heard his demand, but my body wasn't responding. I just stared at the bath water, looking at my complexion, when a single tear fell. I quickly wiped it away hoping Cato hadn't noticed.

"Fine," Was all I heard as I felt Cato stripping me of my clothes, but unlike I should've felt, I didn't mind at all, not one bit did it bother me.

Soon I was in the bathtub sitting there, while hugging my knees to my chest as Cato cleaned me up. Staring at my complexion, I saw a young girl who just months ago lived with her best friend and her only problem was her mother and other caretaker dying. Now, I'm a fucked up girl who has to watch her back 24/7, and is afraid of her own shadow. It's a messed up world out there.

My mind began roaming to my mother. I can still see the last breath leaving her body as she cried out in pain. She died for me and this is how I repay her. Giving up on myself. She doesn't deserve that. I need to stay alive to hold her name in honor, but I need her now. I need her to brush my hair and tell me everything was going to be okay. I need her to sing me to sleep every night. I need her to hold me in her arms tightly when I thought there was a monster under my bed. I need her.

I need Annabell too. The sweet old woman who took me in and raised me as her own. She's gone too. She wasn't here to help me through the years of the reapings. She wasn't here to watch me grow into the girl she helped shape. Nor was she here to watch me fall in love with Cato. She missed it all. She was the grandma I never had.

"I'll go get your clothes," Cato spoke, breaking me out of my thoughts.

But if they hadn't died, I never would've met Finnick. He is the brother I never had. He's the world to me and me to him. He's watching me grow, he's watching me fight and watching me love. Now, he's watching me take the first step in starting a revolution and changing Panem, hopefully for the better. My motivation for being the leader is the tributes. Rue. Marvel. Tanner. Breckin. Thresh. Even Clove and Glimmer. They didn't deserve to die.

"Here. I'll just be in your room," Cato said putting my clothes on the toilet seat after he put it down. He then closed the bathroom door behind him, walking away.

I stared at the clothes and thought about what happened tonight. I know Bleuforsh was there. I saw him with my own eyes! I felt his presence. And Snow, he knew. He can't keep messing with my head! I wish he didn't, I can barely go through the day on my own without thinking about it, but Snow has to go and make it worse. But I know he was there! He was going to kill Finnick.

Stepping out of the bathroom still in my towel, I began mumbling to myself, trying to convince myself that I'm not mad! "I'm not crazy. He was there," I kept saying over and over as I sat on my bed next to Cato who was off in his own world.

"Who was there?" Cato asked finally after what felt like hours passing by. Looking him dead in the eye, I knew it was time to tell him.

"Bleuforsh."

"Who?" He asked confused.

"H-he was there tonight. I'm not crazy!" I yelled.

"Colton?" I heard my name echoing through my, along with the sound of my clothes ripping. I looked directly at Cato, not breaking eye contact. "What happened to you? Who killed you?" The questions I've gotten by with no one asking me, was finally being asked. It was time.

"He hurt me. He stole my secrets, my lies, my love," I mumbled.

"What do you mean?! " He yelled as I continued to mumble now looking at the ground.

"I couldn't stop him," Tears poured out of my eyes as his moans filled my ears. Screaming, I tried to exit them out, but nothing worked. I felt my body being pulled into Cato's arms, settling me.

"From what?! What did he do?!" Cato said, but I couldn't say the word.

"He was in me. In my head. He still is," I said speaking in code. "I couldn't stop him," My crying got harder and harder. I thought I would float away in my own tears.

"From what?! What couldn't you stop him from?!" My face was tugged to look at him in the eye.

"Violating me," I whispered. "It's gone. I can't get it back. It belonged to you," I mumbled, spilling my heart out to him. "He stole it from you, from me. I couldn't stop him. I tried. I'm so sorry," I pulled myself into Cato's arms, never wanting to let go as his scent filled my nose. I guess when I was dying, it wasn't my last time smelling him.

"He raped you," Was all I heard. Cato went off into his own rambles now as he rubbed my back holding me in his arms. He was saying stuff about how he wasn't there to stop it, he would kill him, how sorry he was and other things that made me know that he still loved me.

I didn't care anymore. I wanted him. I wanted his touch. Now that it was out there, I didn't care. I let it all hang out there. I wanted Cato inside me. I wanted Cato to know how much I loved him. I wanted him to know how much I need him.

Looking up at the shocked creature in front of me, who I once thought was a monster and now was so madly in love with, I couldn't help myself. Wiping the last tear away on my face, I put my hand on his chin, directing his face towards me. Catching on, he looked down at me and I felt that connection I always felt with him. Glancing back and forth between his eyes and his lips, I leaned in.

The second my lips finally touched his, I felt as if someone else had taken over my body. Something else was controlling my next actions.

Love.

Love was controlling me.

The soft, plush lips I've once kissed before, were kissing me again. Grabbing hold of Cato's hair I tugged harshly and pulled him against me with more passion. I began fidgeting with his tie, not able to loosen it up, til Cato helped me. Throwing that across the room, I pulled his jacket off and threw that in the corner. Not being able to help myself, I began unbuttoning his shirt, anxious to see his body once again.

Finally able to get his shirt off, I tossed that in the corner with the rest of his clothes. My hands began roaming his body, not able get enough. I wanted to be on cloud 9 with the man I loved, even if he didn't love me back anymore.

My body was pushed back a bit as our lips parted. "Are you sure?" He asked softly. Even him asking if this was okay, was just enough for me to want him more.

Hungry for more, I nodded my head and pushed him down on the bed and straddled him. Making complete eye contact with him, I tore my towel off, allowing his eyes to explore my body, but that wasn't enough for me. I wanted his embrace, filling my body's every need. Leaning back down, pushing my chest against his, I forced my lips onto his, not that he minded. His tongue entered my mouth as he flipped me over. Helping him take his pants off, I could feel 'him' against me.

He began kissing down my chest, in between my breasts, making me gasp. I could feel him giggle, making me laugh a bit. I pulled his face back to mine, eager for more. Wrapping my legs around his waist, I could feel him pulling his boxers off. The next thing I felt, was a sensation I've never felt. It wasn't rough like my first time, it was soft and gentle. Cato's passion radiated off of his body and onto mine, into mine. A moan escaped my lips as I could no longer hold it in.

For the first time, I made love. It was the best experience I could've asked for. It felt amazing. It felt good.

It felt perfect.

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	6. The Ghost

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"Fin, I miss him so much," I wept into Finnick's arms. I knew it was too soon, before Cato and I would be torn apart. We fought til the last second to allow him to stay in my District, but the Capitol wouldn't budge. I'm sure Snow had something to do with it, once again making me pay for starting that spark.

"I know you do baby," I wondered if I would ever be allowed to see Cato again. I yearned for his touch, for our special night at the Capitol Building to replay, but it never happened.

His touch, was so gentle and soft, I could barely feel it. I felt like we were the only two people alive. I felt so alive, so energetic. He was my caffeine. He was my oxygen. Without him, my world was nothing. Without him, I was nothing. Nothing more than a lost girl, who's been hurt all her life. Loving him was effortless, missing him was just too much.

Pulling away from Finnick, I knew he was shocked at my sudden mood change. He knew I'd changed, I was stronger, but only when Cato was around. But, I could manage to hold myself up most of the time now. "I'm gonna go on a walk," I said leaving my home in Victor's Village.

Something in me changed too, I was full of fury. I became angry about everything. I wanted this Rebellion to happen just as much as everyone else. I wanted Cato to be by my side, in my District. I wanted President Snow to feel the Districts' wrath. I wanted him to come crawling to me, begging me for mercy.

Making love to Cato only made me stronger. One person alone, pieced me back together. One night, fixed almost everything. But, I couldn't do this rebellion on my own. I needed Katniss leading people too. I'm sure her life at him in District 12 was not easy, seeing as she was an accomplice to me in the games.

Thinking about the rebellion only made me angrier. In anger, I kicked a rock as I walked to the beach, the one place I could really think.

Coming upon the shore, I saw a couple people, but I didn't go near them considering I just wanted to be left alone. I took my shoes off like I always do when I come to shore, and ran through the sand like I did when I was younger with Finnick.

"Stop Finnick!" I cried as my young ten your old self. The water kept getting in my eyes, making it burn a bit from the salt, but I didn't mind much since I was pretty much used to it. Finnick and I had been splashing each other for what felt like ages and he refused to surrender, so I used my brain to get him to. "Ow! Ow stop! It burns! Ah! I can't see!" I cried holding my hands in my face, hoping he believed me.

I felt the water stop being thrown in my face, when I felt hands on my shoulders. "Oh my god! Colt, I'm so sorry! Are you okay?!" He asked getting in my face trying to see my eyes. When he was thirteen, even then, we both knew we were each others worlds.

Removing my hands from my face, I smiled a bright smile at him and pushed him off of me and ran to shore. While running I could hear his large body slamming into the water. His size at thirteen was very abnormal, considering he was huge. "Gotcha!" I said running onto the beach, but was soon tackled.

"Gotcha back!" Finnick yelled in my face while pinning me to the sand.

"Colton! Finnick! I have lunch if you guys want some!" Annabell called. My stomach immediately rang with hunger. I hadn't eaten all day. Finnick and I locked eyes.

"Race ya," Finnick challenged.

"You're on fatty!" I yelled and pushed him off of me running towards the house, only for us to be yelled at because our clothes were wet and we were covered in sand head to toe.

Those were the times I missed. I missed being little and not having a care in the world. It made me so mad how the games had to go and ruin that all and on top of that, now I had to deal with the man I love being 500 miles away. I left my heart with him.

In anger, I picked up one of the rocks in the sand and whipped it into the water, only to hear a clank before it sunk to the bottom. Curiosity got the best of me, so I stepped out into the water, only up to my knees to see something shining in the water. I stripped my body of my shirt and shorts, leaving them next to my shoes I had dropped beside me, and swam out into the deep ocean about thirty feet out, until I found what I had heard the clanking from.

Grabbing it in one swift movement, I swam back to shore and sat on the beach next to my clothes and shoes. Looking over what I had found, I figured out it was a piece of rusted platinum with something engraved in it. I couldn't tell what the engraving was because a rock like thing was in covering some of i. For what seemed like twenty minutes, I chipped away at the rock until the metal was just metal again.

The engraving looked to be like some sort of District 4 symbol. On the bottom, it said 'District 4' and above that looked to be a hook with fish surrounding it. It was beautiful, nothing like I've ever seen before. Scanning the beach to see if this belonged to anyone, I saw the closest sign of human beings, were at least fifty feet down the coast. So, I decided I was going to keep it, carry around with me.

Throwing my clothes and shoes back on, I walked to town, only to knock into someone and drop the platinum piece I had been so fascinated with in the past hour because I had been looking at it while I was walking. It began rolling around town square, and before I even looked up to see who bumped into me, I ran after it. Apart from the wind and voices rippling past my ears, I could hear the person apologizing for bumping into me.

After darting a cart, plenty of people, and a few shops, I was so close to reaching it, until someone grabbed it. I was about to object, until I saw the person's face. No, it couldn't be him.

"Um, that's mine," I reached out to grab it, but he pulled it back before I could, quicker than me like he always was.

"Hmm, very interesting emblem you've got here Colton," He said with a smirk.

"Um thanks," I said ripping it from his hand, slipping it into my pocket and walking away from him. Maybe I could pretend I didn't see him. It was just a figure of my imagination. Yeah, that's what it was. Maybe it was just someone who looked vaguely like him. I mean, I hadn't seen him in years. I don't know if that was actually him.

It couldn't be. It wasn't possible. I thought he was dead by now or something. How is it the Capitol never found him… or me? That was the real question. Oh my god, what if he told the Capitol I wasn't actually from District 4? My whole life could fall apart in a second.

Barging through the door that wasn't mine, I saw Finnick at his kitchen table eating what appeared to be a bowl of cereal. The second he saw me, he dropped his spoon and stood from his spot at the table. "You look like you've just seen a ghost," Was the first thing he said. I'm sure I did look like that, pale, confused.

"I think I just did," I said while walking over to the sink and leaning over it trying to catch my breath. The anger, and loss of love I felt was one thing, but now confusion? No, that just had to make matters at hand even worse.

"What are you talking about?" Finnick asked and in the blink of an eye, he was at my side with his hand on my shoulder, holding me up. His face replayed over and over in my head. His smirk, his crinkle above his eyebrow whenever he talked. The glimmer he had in his eyes that no one else I've ever met had.

Soon, there was a pressure unlike I've ever felt on my head, and I began getting nauseous, and my legs gave out on me. And all I saw was blackness before my head hit the counter and I fell, the dark reaching it's hand out to me, inviting me in.

XXXX

Waking up, I saw a nervous Finnick pacing the room. I had to make sure he knew everything was okay. I tried sitting up, but my head had other ideas. My body was telling me to get up, but my mind wouldn't let my body function properly.

After a couple more minutes of war, my mind gave in to my body's fight and I was able to use my legs to stand up. I now noticed I was in Finnick's room. All it took was seeing Finnick's lucky trident against the wall to know. He kept in a glass case next to his bed so he could make sure no one has got it. He's had it as long as I can remember. It was his lucky one, because he caught his first fish with it, is what he told me.

"Fin, calm down," I said alerting him. He rushed to my side to make sure I was okay. "Ugh, my head hurts," I said holding the left side of my head.

"Yeah, when you blacked out, you hit it on the counter," He explained to me.

"Oh," Was all I could muster, until I felt the metal object in my pocket. I took it out, admiring it still and now showing it to Finnick. "Look what I found at the beach," I said handing it over to Finnick. He looked like he had to take a moment to register as confusion covered his face, until realization hit him like a brick.

"This is District 4's pennant. It represents us," He explained. He looked so shocked while looking it over, more and more as if not believing that what he was holding was real. "I haven't seen one of these since, well since my grandad died. He told me he wanted me to bury it with him, so I did." I never knew Finnick's grandfather, but from the stories he told me sometimes, he seemed like an amazing man who had impacted Finnick's life so much. "Keep this, it's worth a lot," He said handing it back to me.

I nodded my head in understanding as I slipped it back in my pocket. Leaning my head against Finnick, I thought of Cato again. I couldn't shake him out of my head no matter how much I tried. It was harder now than ever after we made love because, it changed me. I'm better now.

"Hey, Colt?" Finnick asked. In response, I peered up at his face. It seemed like he didn't know how to get the words out. "What were you talking about, when you said you, you saw a ghost?" I could tell he was scared what my response would be. He probably thought I saw Bleuforsh again, but it wasn't him thankfully. I haven't seem him for a while. Yes, he was the dark shadow hanging in the back of my mind, but I haven't seen him.

"I saw-," I started, but couldn't form the word. I hadn't said it in years.

"What did you see?" Finnick egged me on, trying to support me to vomit the word out since it was choked in the back of my mind. "Who did you see?!" He asked, more urgent.

****"My dad."

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**Whoa. Bet you guys didn't see that coming! Ha! So what do you think of the new twist?**


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